Fortunately, there are several excellent methods for giving constructive criticism that are unlikely to trigger bad feelings. Since requests go a much longer way toward achieving cooperation than
snide remarks,
put-downs and negative declarations, the first method of constructive criticism is to request a specific change in the future instead of pointing out something negative in the present.
A technique of constructive criticism is called the "sandwich method" in which one sandwiches the meat of a criticism between two positive comments.
Hence, instead of saying "You did a lousy job writing this report," using the sandwich method one could say "You did a great job on the introduction, but the middle section and conclusion seem a little weak. With a bit more work, I'm sure you can
tighten it up into a really good report."
It's
also important to keep in mind that how you say things matters as much as what you say. If you want to deliver constructive criticism skillfully it's helpful to practice using "I-statements" rather than "You-statements”
destructive criticism.
To
summarize:
Try the "sandwich method" as much as possible.
Practice requesting positive change in the future instead of complaining about current behavior.
Deliver your messages in the form of I-statements rather than You-statements.
Finally, keep in mind that giving criticism is a skill that, like all skills, can be mastered through learning and practice.